We here at The Mom Blog have been having a lively discussion among ourselves. Since it’s something that was sparked by a reader’s comment to a Mom Blog post by Suzanne “Mommy’s Mind is Not a Toy” Broughton, I figure you should be in on the discussion, too.

Our debate has to do with a word that some of us feel is inappropriate for The Mom Blog, while others are perfectly comfortable with it.

It’s an acronym. Part of my dilemma in writing about it is, well, actually writing it in this post. So until we get this matter settled, I’m going to call it MILK and let it stand for Mom I’d Like to Know - but just so you get the real picture, I’m talking about “know” in the biblical sense, as in Adam knew Eve and begat Cain and Abel.

Got it?

OK, so here is what happened: A comment from an anonymous person (and it is the policy of ocregister.com to allow our readers to leave comments without attaching their actual names to them) called Suzanne a MILK.

I’m figuring the comment came from a man. Suzanne had included a picture of herself and her girl friends, whose lives she contrasted with those of the ladies on “The Real Housewives of Orange County.”

The comment got approved and published by another Mom blogger. The way we operate, all of us are moderators. But I saw it online and was unsure if it should be published, based on our language policy at ocregister.com and The Orange County Register. I also thought it may be offensive.

I removed it from public view and sent an email around to the Mom bloggers asking to proceed with more caution.

And the discussion, conducted by email, began (remember I am substituting the acronym MILK for the real thing):

Erika “Call Me Mami” Chavez: I’ll fess up as the one who approved the MILK comment. I didn’t even give it a second thought, as I use the term and consider it part of the pop-culture vernacular (did anyone watch 30 Rock last week? HILARIOUS riff on the MILK phenomenon.) I will be sure to use more caution from now on. Suzanne, hope you aren’t too freaked out by all the comments. … I thought your post was funny as hell, and I agree that you’re MILKy.

Jenny “Gray Hairs and Teddy Bears” Angelici: I feel like such an old lady. I can’t even figure out what MILK stands for. I guess I’ll have to ask my husband - he thinks he’s the hip one.

Theresa “Blog on Board” Walker: Hey Erika, I know it is a fine line. We can’t use (rhymes with ducks and starts with an S) or (rhymes with fork and starts with a D) in any of our stories either. But blogs are another world. Maybe we need looser rules. Funny thing is, when I talked to Suzanne, she didn’t know what MILK stood for.

Erika (advising Jenny): Whatever you do, DON’T Google it … it has taken on a really smutty life on the Internet. It’s a term originally from the movie “American Pie” to describe a hot mom. In its original incarnation, it was pretty innocent … even if it did use an obscene word. Your mileage may vary, of course … I find I’m pretty hard to offend, but others may find it inappropriate.

Suzanne: Thanks for explaining to me what that meant … I didn’t know. What a dweeb I am … I am fine with negative comments. It is all part of
blogging and I knew it before I started. I do think there needs to be a line between inappropriate and appropriate - the obscene ones should go in my opinion. They don’t offer anything of value. But the ones that say I’m not funny or asks why the Reg posts these kinds of things are welcome. People are entitled and they bring up relevant issues … as long as you guys think I am funny and cute - right ?!

Marla “Frumpy Middleaged Mom” Fisher: Personally I don’t really see the problem with using an acronym like that. I used SOB in my post which everyone knows includes an obscenity. People commonly use SNAFU which includes an obscenity or something that if someone wanted to pursue it to the death could include an obscenity. Please. It’s a blog. Let’s not beat all the personality out of it until it’s hideously boring.

Theresa: So where do you suggest drawing the line, Marla?

Marla: Well, personally, I would not like to read racial slurs on the blog. Otherwise I have no problem with anything anyone writes. Of course I sit next to a guy who uses the “f” word every fifteen seconds.

Theresa: Obviously we wouldn’t allow racial slurs on the blog. But here’s the problem I have with references like MILK. I think that kind of stuff (especially when it comes from an anonymous comment) encourages others to cross the line … The thing is, we don’t need The Mom Blog to devolve into the kind of talk you hear in a men’s gym locker. At least that’s not what I want. How about the rest of you?

Cynthia “Upside Down WOW” Rupe: I do have to agree with T on the whole gym locker perspective. I think the operative word in there is “men’s.” This is our blog. Let’s take it back. Woman power! (Haha).

Suzanne: I would let a lot of stuff by I think, simply because I didn’t understand it.

Nikki “Book ‘em” Batalis: It is a sticky wicket re language. I tend to skew toward the prudish side, but as for the MILK comment, it’s so much a part of the modern lexicon, it didn’t really bother me. That term was used often on the “Real Housewives” show, which Suzanne was using as the basis of her blog. And by posting a picture of yourself and friends, you are inviting comments positive and negative - though I thought it was very cute! But like Marla says, it is a blog, after all - that is the kind of language that is used. … As to where to draw the line, I think if it’s an acronym with an obsenity, it’s probably OK for a blog. If it’s the real obscenity, obviously not. But jeez, on the print side, we’re still fighting the “(rhymes with fork”) battle …

Marla: Well I didn’t know what MILK meant either until I started watching that stupid show! I’m not in the MILK demographic.

And there you have it. A house divided. For the record, the deputy editor who oversees all of our doings here on OCmoms.com found the use of the term personal and sexual, and probably offensive to people of a grayer demographic.

The funny thing is Roxanne “Then There Were Three” Hack and I were discussing this very term just the day before Suzanne posted her blog. There’s a TV show pilot, with executive producers Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith, under production called “MILK and Cookies.”

Roxanne wondered how they could get away with making that the title and the basis (it’s about a group of sexy single moms) of a network TV show. She said we should blog about the issue, but we weren’t sure how to do that without using the actual term. So much for that dilemma.

Now it’s your turn. What do you say? Should MILK stay or should it go?

And let me remind, if your response uses the real thing, it won’t get approved. At least not until we settle this debate.

So go ahead and MILK this topic.

Posted in: Blog On Board - Theresa Walker |

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.