Frumpy family with Santa
Santa’s sleigh is going to be pretty empty this year when he arrives at Frumpy Middleaged Mom’s house, thanks to a stinky economy, so I’m trying to figure out how to have a great holiday season–without spending any money. Meanwhile, I’m trying to look on the bright side.
Top 10 reasons why being broke this year is good:
10. I won’t have to sneak over and put some of my trash into my neighbor’s trash cans on Christmas morning, due to the excessive amount of left-over wrappings.
9. The kids’ rooms will be easier to clean, because they won’t be jammed with a lot of useless junk they really didn’t need anyway but I bought because they saw it on TV.
8. The children can learn the true meaning of Christmas, that it’s better to give than receive. (I just have to convince them of this fact).
Cheetah Boy opening last year's loot
7. It’s a good time to get serious about that conversion to Judaism, (On the other hand, then I have to start saving up for future bar and bas mitzvahs, so it would only be a temporary savings.)
6. People really do appreciate handmade gifts. Okay, nobody wants a handknitted item from me. However, it is a chance for me to help the kids make some hand-stamped cards and stationery gifts.
5. I don’t have to fight for a parking space at the mall this year.
4. Baking gifts instead of buying them is probably going to be trendy this year. Plus, you’re teaching your kids an important life skill that involves butter. And, no, you can’t substitute the sugar for salt for people you don’t like and pretend like it was an accident. Well, if you do, I won’t tell.
3. I don’t have to stay up until midnight Christmas Eve staring at indecipherable instructions, trying to assemble a lot of overpriced crap that will be broken in three days.
2. We can tell everyone we’re having a “green Christmas” by recycling instead of buying new stuff. It’ll help global warming. And we’ll sound more socially conscious than they are.
1. I won’t have to enter the living holiday hell known as “Toys R Us.”
If you would like to be on a mailing list to receive a link to each new Frumpy mom blog post, email me, mfisher@ocregister.com. I won’t sell your address to anyone but porn companies that pay me a lot of money.
Hey, why not read more Frumpy Middleaged Mom? It’s 42% better than real life:
- My Martha Stewart Thanksgiving. Right. And I’m the Pope.
- Top 10 reasons it’s good to be broke at Christma
- My early Christmas letter to you little people
- Mommy, I’m still in your uterus, but can I have a cellphone?
- Want a dog? Fill out this 87 page form and empty your wallet
- Grocery shopping as a recreational sport
- Cheerleading Is Not A Sport
- Home appraisers can bite my butt
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Love the pic of you and the kids!
Your list is going to come in handy this year!!
We are down 1/3 of our income this year (Hubby is in high tech sales). I’m just thankful he still has a job and we have a house we can afford.
Thanks for the list!! I really enjoy reading your blog.
PS: Cute picture of you with your Curly Girl and Cheetah boy!!!
First time I’ve read your blog, it’s great…thanks for the “freebies” we can enjoy! Time to get back to the true meaning of Christmas…
When will you people learn?
What part don’t you get? CHRISTmas. It’s the Birth of CHRIST.
So why then do you celebrate by purchasing useless junk for people that will have forgotten in April who gave them what?
CHRIST was non-materialistic. That means he was not concerned with gaining riches on earth. He repeatedly said that.
DON’T BUY ANYONE ANYTHING. Unless of course you just want to take advantage of the great savings at Kohls. Then you should at least call it what it is., End of Year Warehouse Clearance Price Reduction Day.
I’m lovin’ the list - so true. The photo of you and your kids is priceless.
With Judaism comes twelve nights of presents.
I think the best gifts are pictures. Clothes, and other material things always come and go but pictures will last forever.
I grew up as a Jew. No. 7 is correct. We got one present a night; not just presents on one morning.. You may want to re think “becoming a Jew”. That is definitely more expensive. What if the three of you volunteer at a Homeless Shelter? Then the kids can see what it is like for kids that don’t have a permanent home…
Thank you GodAlmighty. I am so tired of hearing things like “the true meaning of Christmas is that it’s better to give than recieve”. The true meaning of Christmas is that Jesus Christ was born into this world to die for our sins. If you want to celebrate a fat man in a red suit who brings gifts-boy are we all going to hurt this year! Have a Happy Birthday Jesus party, teach your kids the TRUE meaning of CHRISTmas and you won’t have to come up with free substitutes to fill your december. Try serving the homeless a meal, gathering things for the needy, and saying “Merry Christmas” to those you come by.
God Bless!
GAM - you really do believe that of yourself don’t you!
Darling picture! Thanks for your stories and your outlook, Marla!