I wish you could see the huge stack of unused gift cards I have in my drawer, many of which are for massages and other spa services.
These costly gifts were given to me by my very kind and thoughtful friends, who correctly surmised that a working single mom desperately needs a massage, a facial and some time to herself.
The problem with this is, that working single moms are very loathe to carve out time for themselves to do these sorts of things, considering that this time would invariably be stolen from other activities, like cleaning out the closet or taking a nap.
The truth is, if I have to choose between getting a massage and taking a nap, the nap is going to win every time. Both are rare and decadent activities in the galaxy known as single momhood. But the nap is easier, closer to home, I don’t have to make an appointment or get naked in front of a stranger and I don’t have to tip anyone afterward.
Consequently, I have hundreds of dollars in unused gift cards in my drawer.
Take my Extremely Scientific Poll:
My friend Liz Pulliam Weston, the financial columnist, hates gift cards even more than I do. Here’s her column entitled “Gift Cards are not gifts.”
Experts say that 25 to 40 percent of all gift cards never get used at all, making them them essentially gifts, not to the person you give them to, but to the store you bought them from.
Take, for example, my friend Jannlee, who got an amazing certificate for a $450 day of luxury at 
Glen Ivy Hot Springs that she’s never used. She’s not even sure where the gift card is, or at least so she claims whenever I suggest that she might actually use it.
After my father, a rancher, died in Colorado, we found a $100 gift card to the Texas Roadhouse, a national chain, in his house that he’d received as a present and never used.
We decided to use it to take some friends out to dinner who’d helped us with the funeral. Well the gift card was kind of old and the steak house gave us a major hassle about trying to use it, despite that fact that it had been bought and paid for long since. Finally, they agreed we could buy dinner with it, after they extracted a fee.
Take another Extremely Scientific Poll:
Now, some gift cards I like. Every year, my mom sends gift cards to Payless Shoes to the kids for Christmas, so they can go and pick out shoes that I would have bought them anyway, but they happily think it’s a present. That’s my kind of gift card.
I also like getting cards to bookstores, since then I get to buy a book without thinking that I should really have used the money to pay bills.
I would certainly have preferred a gift card from my former boyfriend’s mother, instead of a 30-inch-high Victorian doll lamp with purple taffeta skirts and black lace trim, whose lampshade was a parasol. Thank God I didn’t marry him or I would have had a lifetime of gifts like that to come.
On the other hand, gift cards can really say, “I have no idea what to get you and I’m too darn lazy to find out.”
For my kids’ joint birthday party last year, they were so deluged with Target gift cards that they hardly 
had any real presents to open. After they lost track of the cards, I found them, stuck them in my wallet and used them to buy things they needed.
One guest gave the kids gift cards to 7-11, which was kind of odd, but I was happy to immediately appropriate them and use them to buy milk.
One of my favorite things about the gift cards is that, even though they are a cash bonanza to the stores, they invariably have a hanging rack of special decorative gift-card boxes near the cash register, where they charge you money to buy a box to wrap the gift card that’s like free money to them already.
That’s why I have devised a plan to market only gift cards that will never be used. Then, I can keep 100 percent of the profit.
I will only charge you 50 cents on the dollar for every gift card you buy from me. Some examples of what I’m going to be selling:
- The gift card for a facial you can give to your auto mechanic.
- The gift card for a free cocktail in Bali for your teenage babysitter.
- The gift card for Easter lilies for your Jewish neighbors.
- The gift subscription to Cat Fancier magazine for a Rottweiler owner.
If you’re still not satisfied, check out on the Smart Spending blog, Donna Freedman has eight uses for unwanted gift cards.
And, I certainly hope my very kind friends who gave me gift cards for massages, intending to help me out, don’t think I’m not appreciative of their gestures. I truly am. Big smooch.
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Hey, why not read more Frumpy Middleaged Mom? It’s 42% better than real life:
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Sorry this isn’t funny, but I have a cold
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Want your kids to do chores? Go back to bed.
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Let’s confiscate cellphones of rude parents
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Is my kid’s school concert disturbing your phone call?
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Mommy, I’m still in your uterus, but can I have a cellphone?
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Teenage stupidity: So real, you can see it on a brain scan
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One reason not to cuss out your kid
Would you like to be featured here and on 
I one received a $25 gift certificate to a nail salon. I don’t wear acrylic nails, or even paint my nails. I tried to use the gift card, but the only services they offered were some kind of fake nails. I would either have to commit to maintaining these nails, or face destroying my own nails in a few weeks when they started to grow out. I handed the gift card to another patron in the shop on my way out.
seems like you could sell some of the giftcards online and get some money to buy what you actually would need…
Marla, you can just float those GCs for massages my way. I will take them! You should make some time to use them and treat yourself. That is what your friends wanted for you
Greetings from Glen Ivy Hot Springs Spa! We second Suzanne’s comment that the people who gifted the massage gift cards to you are people who care about you enough to give you a gift of personal renewal and relaxation – something you probably don’t give yourself enough of but definitely deserve.
As well, next time you’re faced with choosing between a massage and nap, keep in mind that an hour of professional massage is as restful as 3-4 hours of sleep…talk about a power nap!
Please assure your friend Jannlee that if she can find hers, Glen Ivy gift cards never expire and they make fabulous re-gifting opportunities (as evidenced by Suzanne’s enthusiasm to take them off your hands)!
Whether you gift it or donate it, we’ll be sure to take care of that person as well, in your name. We hope to see you soon and wish you a happy and healthy 2009!
I second Suzanne’s comment - I will GLADLY take those massage GCs off of your hands, girly!
I agree with Suzanne and Jennifer, Marla. Your friends are sedning you a message. They want to do for you what you don’t take enough time to do for yourself. A massage is not just an indulgent treat. It can actually be a health giving experience if you give yourself the chance. And where is it written that you can’t take a nap and get massaged at the same time? Just think how appealing that can be for a multi-tasker like you.
Let me tell you, during a good massage, by the time they get to my feet, I AM asleep. Nap and massage all in one.
As for gift cards for the kids, although I don’t really love the idea I’m sure we will get them. I plan to help my daughter pick out something that she wouldn’t normally buy for herself. I realize the temptation to use them on “just stuff” and necessities is high, but not very memorable. I used to get $20 from this old lady for my birthday and I loved writing her a thank you note to tell her what I picked out for myself. That is how she intended it.
Life isn’t all about what we need; sometimes we need the balance of what we want.
Yet another reason not to be a single parent.
I don’t know the name of the site, becuase I love gift cards and wished more of my friends and relatives gave me them instead of ugly clothes that don’t fit (I’ve spent at least 4 of my lunches returning clothes and shoes, and I still have two more stores to go to), but supposedly there is a site out there similar to Craiglist where you can swap the gift cards you don’t want for gift cards you do.
As a second suggestion - unlike that horrible sounding lamp, you probably know SOMEONE who wants the giftcard, especially when you run a blog. Give them away to a friend who will appreciate them, or donate them to an auction for a local charity - my daughter’s school does an annual charity auction and they would more than gladly take your unused (but hopefully unexpired) gift cards off your hands, as I’m sure many other charities or schools that do such auctions will. For those with blogs with a decent audience of readers - might I suggest holding a contest with those unwanted gift cards as a prize? I would LOVE a gift certificate to Glen Ivy and have been asking for one for Christmas for two years with no luck, so a contest giving one away would certainly capture my attention.
plasticjungle.com let’s you sell and swap gift cards. you get less than what’s on the card (otherwise what would be the point) but it’s a pretty cool way to get rid of ‘em. This non-coffee drinker has sold quite a few Starbucks gift cards there.
I’ve said before I don’t like Walmart, but there’s a commercial on the air right now specifically about gift cards. Have you seen it? I think it said something like, “when my kids get Walmart gift cards, going to the store is like Christmas morning all over again.”
Maybe next time your little ones get a bunch for Target or something, make a thing out of it — spend an afternoon perusing all the toy or book or DVD aisles. Maybe save a certain amount for milk and bread, but let them pick something fun so that they don’t lose out on a cool gift for themselves. I would’ve loved that as a kid.
I did the same thing for Sam when people gave gift cards at the baby shower and for Christmas — if it was $50, he’d get a teething toy and a new pair of PJs or something, and then the rest went to diapers and his favorite (but expensive) bubble bath.
p.s. What’s up with the comment from “Chris”? Not all of us can have the perfect little life, ya know. Some of us live in the real world, where single parents are awesome.
When it comes to parents - it’s the quality not the quantity that counts.
Right, Chris, being a single parent is hard work, though very worthwhile. Want to marry me and give my kids two parents? Then I can use all my gift cards.