Orange County Register

Dear kids,

After sober reflection, I’ve decided you’re right.

Sometimes, the kids are just smarter than the parents, as you enjoy pointing out to me daily, now that you’re 10 and 12 years old.

So I’m going to take a clue from your adolescent behavior and change the way I act around the house.

In the interest of family unity, I will be taking my cue from you two from now on:

• When you say something I don’t agree with, I won’t correct you gently.  Instead, I’ll roll my eyes and make a sarcastic comment to show how stupid I think you are.

• Whenever you ask me to do a chore or take you somewhere, I will pretend like I didn’t hear you.

• If you ask me a second time to do the same chore, I will say “In a minute,” which in kid legalese means “not in this lifetime.”

• After a third request, I will shout “No, it’s not fair! I have to do all the work,” and stomp off to my room.

• If you pursue me, I will insist that this time it’s someone else’s turn to do it, and slam my door three times.
• I will then open my door, just long enough to say “Why don’t you do some chores around here, huh?“

• At this point, it will be up to you to find someone else to take you to soccer practice, find your overdue library book and make dinner, because I will be grounded to my room, where I’ll be relaxing and watching TV.

Thanks for pointing out how much more effective these child-centered techniques are than the ones I currently use. Hopefully, they’ll bring our entire family closer.

Love you mucho,

Mommy

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