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Abandon your child, or face jail time?
November 18th, 2009, 1:55 pm · 62 Comments · posted by Roxanne Hack, staff writer
A single mom in Georgia could face criminal charges because she missed her deployment flight due to childcare issues. Alexis Hutchinson, 21, had made arrangements with her mother to watch her 10-month-old son for a year while she served in Afghanistan, but after two weeks, her mom realized the burden was too much to bear.
Alexis spoke to her superior about the situation, and according to The Associated Press:
Her civilian attorney, Rai Sue Sussman, said Monday that one of Hutchinson’s superiors told her she would have to deploy anyway and place the child in foster care.
So Alexis skipped the flight, because she decided that facing the consequences was better than abandoning her child.
Now, not coming from a military family myself, I should admit right off the bat that I know close to nothing about the goings-on in situations such as these. I do know from the news stories that Alexis joined the service in 2007, but has since signed a single parents care plan for soldiers before being deployed.
Her plan: Her mother would watch her child. But plans changed. Life happens.
I know in my heart of hearts that I would have done the exact same thing. Fearing they would put my child in some stranger’s home, I would never have shown up for that flight.
While I am a single parent, I know that I am fortunate to have back-up plans. My son’s father — and that side of the family — is incredibly involved in his life, and always will be. But a back-up plan while I’m gone for a whole year? That would be tough to find, and I’m betting one of the most nerve-wracking favors I’d ever have to ask of my loved ones. In fact, I’m still having trouble asking someone to take my monster for a night here, or a weekend there. There’s no way I would have just left, not knowing for sure in whose hands my child was going to end up.
For the time being, Alexis’ deployment has been halted, and an investigation is under way.
As a parent, single or not, what would you have done?
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Thats BS is a attorney tells you that you have to put your own child in foster care. The military is suppose to take care of thier soldiers and the ones that go to war to fight for thier country. Your child is the number one priority in a parents life.
This is outrageous! I would have done the same if this were have happend to me. How can the military do this! How can they think that a mother would go and fight and leave her child in a foster home! I have a sister in the Army and when she got deployed she game me temporary custody of both of her kids until she was gone but for a single mother, that’s a whole different story. They need to come up with a solution to this… and quick!
Should’ve had a real plan AND backup. Why couldn’t she have waited to get pregnant? I hate to put it this way but, she got herself in the mess with no planning or thinking of possibilities so, deal with it. It’s NOT the government’s responsibility to make arrangements or to take care of the kids. Where’s the father?
#1 - Accidents happen, even to careful people.
#2 - Having relatives and friends in the military, you can’t really plan on when they are going to deploy you, or for how long, and it is unrealistic for us to ask the men and women who risk their very lives for us to just be single and childless for their entire military career (and would we really want people who had no families to them grounded to be out there fighting? From a psychological standpoint, probably not.)
#3 - For all we know the father is dead, or disappeared (my grandfather did that and left my grandma with 5 kids to care for, try finding babysitting in that situation), or is in jail. Obviously if they were recommending foster care, he wasn’t available.
Typical chauvinist pig response. Why couldn’t she have waited to get pregnant? Who knows? Who cares? She has a child now and thats what matters. Yeah, and where is the father, Steve?
If you are a mother of a small child, married or not,you do not join the military to begin with! Of course she shouldn’t abandon her child, but why in the heck did she enlist to begin with?
Feminism wants women to be treated equally like men. As adults, men have to bear the responsibility for their consequences. Thus, if women want to be treated equally, they better be prepared to deal with the consequences. Women, you can’t have the cake and eat it too. She should be punished for her misdemeanor.
Steve, you dimwit. Don’t you know women don’t need to take any responsiiblity in their lives. Thinking ahead? Are you kidding? Women JUST have children out of the blue and then someone else - usually taxpayers- should take care of them and their children. Who knows if she even knows who the husband is, much less where he is.
I agree. She should have waited to get pregnant. If Alexis plans to serve in the military then she should have waited to have a baby. Now people expect the military to become baby sitters while mommy goes to war.
This is absolutely outrageous. I would NEVER abandon my child. What? A ten month old infant? Put in foster care? I would think the military should hire Afghanis to provide such services as cooking. It would help the local economy, and prevent such travesties as this from occurring. Hang in there, Alexis. You’re doing right by staying with your baby.
THIS IS BS. I AM FORMER MILITARY,AND THIS IS CRAP, SHE HAD NO PROBLEM TAKING THE BENIFITS GIVEN, TAKEN THE EDUCATION, AND OH YEA A JOB, WHICH BY THE WAY NO ONE IN MY FAMILY HAS EXCEPT ME.SHE IS JUST TRYING TO GET OUT OF DEPOLYMENT. SHE KNEW WHEN SHE SIGNED THE CONTRACT THAT THERE WILL THE MOMENT IN TIME THAT SHE WOULD HAVE TO DEPLOY SOME DAY, AND SHE SIGNRD ANYWAY. TYPICAL OF YOUNG AMERICANS, THEY WANT ALL THE BENIFITS BUT NONE OF THE RESPONSIBILTY. SEND TO WAR OR TO JAIL, SHE CANT HAVE IT BOTH WAYS.
it’s easy for you to say because you aren’t a mother, men think differently. Plus you don’t know if she got pregnant after she signed the papers so don’t say anything you don’t know.
She obviously got pregnant after she signed, she joined in 07 and her son is 10 months old. She should have thought abou5t her obligation to the military before she got pregnant in a time of war. Give her a dishonarable discharge and be done with her.
Giving her a dishonarable discharge is a good idea.
I think your right about what your saying but maybe you can talk to someone in your family that you can trust with your son . Because if you dont go back you are going to go to jail and then you are going to lose your son. I no you will make the right choice and me as a grandma I will never give up on my grandchildren their all my life. Im soory your mom bailed on you I hope someone in your family will be there to help you and your son he loooks like a wounderful little boy.
Good Luck
She should have think twice before having any kids while in the military.
Frank, would you say that exact same thing to all the men in the military who are fathers? Yeah, I did’t think so…
Geez, Gidget, at least give him time to answer! And of course there is a double standard, there always has been. My guess is Frank would not say the same thing to men, as most of us wouldn’t.
Face jail is what she needs to get her head straight.
Right, face jail for not abandoning your child. All you men commenting need to back off and think for a minute. What are the circumstances of her being a single mother? Did her husband die in combat? If that was the case would you all still be screaming for jail time???? Give her a break, given her circumstances, I don’t see why she can’t stay stateside. And not knowing details, sheesh, what a bunch of d - bags all you men commenting are…
Gidget, you’re awful defensive about the poor choices this woman made. Is this hitting too close to home for you?
Even if she were married to a military man, alexis still should not have had a child while in the military. Hello! And having a baby does not mean she should go state side. If that were the case then any woman who wants it easy in the military will have a baby. The D-bags are the women who want life made easy for them because they have a baby, especially single moms in the military.
I will do the same thing wih her. Who has a stupid idea to ask her to put a little child to a foster care ????? The military should not deploy her, the mother of a liile child in the first place.
I would have showed up with my baby in arms pleading with someone. I still wouldn’t have left him. Alexis if you can’t get anyone to keep your son. I will keep him for you for a year. Poor sweet baby. that’s ridiculous. I can’t believe someone told her the choices was foster care. Wow!!!!!! I would hope there are some compassionate people that wouldn’t give a single mom that choice.
What’s the difference between foster care and the poor sweet baby staying with you for a year?
Raised by a Navy officer, son of another Navy officer, I can attest to the poor family values woven through the U.S. Department of Defense and all of its military branches.
It’s only recently that suicide, depression, domestic abuse, and treatment for post traumatic stress disorders have taken some priority to the rank and file. Mostly, it’s a callous system: we pay you to serve with your mouths shut, sacrifice anything and everything. Never mind that the system itself allows women and men, single and married, with children and without to serve. They take pretty much all comers these days.
Ultimately it’s up to the military leaders to do what they’re paid to do: lead with respect and authority … and figure out a way to delegate responsibility according to capability.
If the military is not going to provide sufficient policies to deal with this sort of situation, they should instead create a policy not allowing single parents to serve and offering them some kind of discharge. If such are the values of our military that we are seriously asking single mothers to abandon their babies on threat of jail time instead of just moving a deployment date back a few months, then what are we even fighting for?
As someone having been in the military I can tell you all that the situation SPC Alexis Hutchinson found her self in is not as bad as it sounds. First and fore most this is the first time anyone is reading about a situation where: 1. a mother fails to deploy because she fears losing her child, or
2. a mother is told that she has to put her child in foster care because of deployment.
The reason why you don’t hear of such things is because, it does not happen!
Please understand, most of America would “floored” at what the military is willing to do for and provide a soldier to keep them as long as they can. And that was back in the early 90’s when I enlisted! I can only imagine what the newer kinder military is doing today. Now with that in mind, here is what most likely happened and why SPC Hutchinson is only going to receive minor punishment for her actions:
SPC Hutchinson gets her deployment orders and sees she is leaving to another country. She goes up to her platoon leader Sargent First Class (E7) Whom ever (who’s most likely the superior in question) and he tells her that
“well you’re a soldier now, you should have thought about this before having a child…I guess you are just going to have to put him in foster care, because these are your orders trooper, there’s nothing you can do, tough luck”
It wouldn’t surprise me if the E7 was being funny about it too getting off on the fear in her eyes. We still have a problem with men not fully accepting of women in the military.
So basically this is a case where the Platoon Sargent FAILED to properly inform his soldier regarding her rights as a single soldier and as single parent in uniform. To tell a soldier something like they would have to put their child up for foster care is is a quick an bumpy road to the Command Sargent Majors office or ever their higher up will be…especial in regards to a female soldier.
In the military you have rights. SPC Hutchinson was obviously not aware of hers. There are many programs like B.O.S.S. (Better Opportunities for Single Soldiers) that can help her out. Officers in the chain of command are very sensitive to these issues (which has been pointed out in the original article) mostly more so than NCO’s like the Sargent.
Jail time? We can put money on that not happening. Deployment? If it can be proven that there are no other family members to help SPC Hutchinson with her child (Military does take the time to investigate thoroughly before making an obvious exception) then we can say that there will be no deployment for her. Punishment? Oh that’s for sure, I expect SPC Hutchinson to be scrubbing and waxing her command post’s floors for the next 45 days. She should have had the initiative to investigate further to see if her superior was being ignorant which he or she is completely guilty of.
As far as the superior in question, they are getting heavily reprimanded, yelled at and the usual. If I am right and this was a Sargent First Class, the worst that can be done to them is that they will never be promoted. Their career stops at E7. They will go through some kind of sensitivity training, be forced to over see and manage those soldiers stuck on extra duty. That’s the usual routine for insubordinate officers and NCO’s like this one.
Rest easy folks, the military is not as thoughtless and unforgiving as the media makes them out to be.
This is why women should not be in the military unless they don’t intend on having a family. Yeh I know this will piss a lot of people off, but she signed up knowing full well that she would get deployed and now she’s using her child as an excuse not to. If she won’t deploy, demote her and give her a dishonorable discharge which will follow her throughout her life. She really should be ashamed of herself:(:(:(:(
Ladies if you’re going to have kids don’t join the military!!!
FYI- I’m a woman and a mother and there is no chance I’d have ever have left my son-hence why I didn’t join the military.
I — a single mom — respectfully disagree.
I would say this is why *single parents* shouldn’t be allowed in the military. I would like to think that this has nothing to do with being a woman, it has to do with not having a second parent to help take responsibility.
Still, I think she was put in a tough situation, and I hope hope hope that she didn’t do any of this out of spite or unwillingness to deploy. She didn’t want to leave her child. I think a single father would’ve done the same thing.
I agree. People are trying to be so liberated and all, but more thought should go into what is good for families. It is my understanding that if one is in the military, that person can be deployed.
With a young child and no other parent, that does not seem at all wise. Even with somewhat older children.
I remember one of those who I think was in the group with Jessica Lynch, the one who was captured and rescued (or at least around that time) who was killed in the attack was a single mother. She was I think a Hopi Indian. Not sure how old her kid(s) were, but now they are without a parent apparently.
I can’t figure out why someone that had a baby or were planning to have a baby would join the service anyway.How selfish.
Selfish of her to want to serve her country? She got pregnant after she joined the service.
Theresa,
YES exactly, getting pregnant is not like getting cancer, you can prevent it, it’s called RESPONSIBILITY. Please don’t try to make her out to be some sort of victim because she chose to have irresponsible sex out of wedlock.
It’s simple. You join the military knowing what can haooen at any given time, especially with what’s going on in the mideast. None of these people were drafted. Most joined for a supplemental “welfare” check. Well, reality is a b**ch folks. You signed up, now go and fight for our freedom. I joined the Corps, did 2 tours in Vietnam and have no regrets. I hope she does go to jail or changes her mind to live up to her obligation she signed up for. That “pitiful” photo doesn’t help her cause. COWARDESS!!!
she will be fine, relax everyone , the military and the women will come to terms and you can thank our Current President for being in the here and now & for his administartion taking a good look and helping Military Families and Veterans needs in the here and now ! and trust me this is no easy task, Thank You Mr. President.
rja, your current president wants the veterans injured in battle to pay their own co-pays for VA treatmant at the health centers throughout the United States. How is that helping our veterans? I visit with our wounded warriors who are consistently concerned about their health care and how they will afford the co-pays if that is approved by your congress. Thank you John Boehner for fighting this proposal to screw our veterans! She signed up….Go do your duty or face court martial.
I suppose they should have thought about that before they went and got themselves wounded.
Just another example of the white man coming down on the blackman or woman. Typical white racist military regime. The sister did the right thing. I dont know why any brotha or sister would join the military to begin with. What go kill there fellow muslim brothas. Hell no we wont go! (Raised fist in the air) Allah ackbar!!!
Yes, I would definitely say you are an ‘angryblackman’ ~ sad….
What did she think would happen if she signed up with the military - there wouldn’t be a war? Next time, think before you sign on the dotted line. Its like the adjustable loans for homes - they go up as well as down.
What about the baby’s father, or other relatives…
Paula, at her age, the war was already in full gear when she enlisted with no one twisting her arm. And danjoe, I’m guesing she has no idea where the baby’s father is. And angryblackman, I’d bet every grain of sand on Kailua Beach that you are white. You are trying way too hard to play the downtrodden black man. I have to say, this is entertainment at its best. COURT MARTIAL and PRISON TIME!
For all those saying that she shouldn’t have joined the military if she had a baby, or shouldn’t have had a baby if she was in the military, I wonder, do you feel similarly about male soldiers who are fathers? It seems like I often see stories on TV that feature what are presented as heartwarming reunions between military children and fathers who are strangers to them.
Dontcha know that’s different? Men who leave their families behind are making a sacrifice for everybody’s good. Women who do the same are neglectful and selfish.
Yes Josh, we are different, nice you noticed. When is the last time you breast fed your child.
Amazing that something so obvious as proper/different gender roles has to be explained.
Its not just male or female parents, but the fact that she is a SINGLE parent that is different. Sure it is less often that we hear of a single father of a young child but that would be similar.
Rather than a criminal proceeding, the alternative to not deploying in this case should have been an immediate general discharge and forfeiture of all benefits. It shouldn’t be a crime, but she should not be permitted to stay in the military either.
This was not the story I was expecting from the headline. Some parents know in their hearts what is best for their child. This is a different scenario and I wish Mom and child the very best….
The Air Force practically rewards its personnel for knocking out kids. As a single airman, I saw people (mostly women) who were my same rank get rewarded with their own single family housing, more pay, and not have to take temporary duty assignments all because they decided to have kids.
Equal pay for equal work? Not if you decide to spit out a few kids.
In the meantime, while I was responsible and did the right thing, I was stuck in a dorm room with a room mate and a bathroom down the hall.
Whenever we deployed, we were asked time and again what our family contingency plans were, what the backup plan was, and so on. You can’t get near a deployment center without having all of your ducks in a row.
This soldier doesn’t strike me as the brightest bulb in the room, and I can only imagine that she’s ignored a lot of the Army’s ongoing reminders about contingency plans.
I agree wholeheartedly with Fed up…Women should not be in the military, period, end of story and problems like this one. (I am a mother) and WHY is it the responsibility of her mother to raise her child for her? It seems she signed up for a few things she is trying to get out of, the FIRST being a PARENT and all that entails.
Also, did she receive any bonuses or incentives upon signing? she need to give them back if she did.
Violet, the k
ey word being “reunion”. The fathers own up to their obligation and go. In some cases there are couples who go over together and return without a boo-hoo poor me story in the OCR. They are true and proud Americans that serve their country with pride. Thank all of them for your right to post your opinions here without the secret police arresting you. Well, not yet anyway.
Undesirable discharge to make sure she has no benefits due her for cowardice!
BTW, this is not the first time I have read of a problem with deployment because of lack of child care only I think the other case was of a married couple but where the spouse traveled a lot so would not be able to care for the child.
I think in that case, they allowed the person not to deploy. I don’t remember all that happened.
But again, I think the military should re-think having single parents in the military. Even if they can find someone to take care of the child, is that good for a child to be away from his only parent for an extended period of time and facing the possibility of being orphaned?
Of course women are technically not supposed to be serving in combat roles but that seems irrelevant in these wars were there isn’t a front line and we read about and see pictures of women out in harms way.
Again, they need to re-think policy on this. I can understand why a grandmother at first being asked would say yes to keeping the child but then realize that it was more than she could handle. Of course an earlier trial run might have been in order.
But also the mom should have thought this through better. She should have realized that being in the military she was subject to being deployed and taken steps to not get pregnant. Maybe once she became pregnant or had the baby she should have sought a discharge. But she probably was depending on military benefits to provide care for the child.
OK, just clicked on the link for single parent care plans. They don’t allow single parents to enlist, but if they become single parents or dual enlisted parents have to have the care plan with short term and long term care providers designated who sign they will be responsible.
I did see one big hole in the plan. They provide for short and long term care givers but since with deployment during time of war, the children could become orphans, planning for that was not included. Big hole.
I don’t know how many have already become orphans that way or how many single parents have been deployed and under what circumstances. They do give them 4 mo after birth or adoption to be exempt but that sure isn’t long.
What about the healthy development of an infant as young as 4-5 mo old whose parent is deployed and thus not there to bond or continue the bond with the child? Doesn’t sound like a formula for healthy child development to me and we should all be concerned about that.
I don’t even think it’s right for the military to ask a Mother to not see her child for a whole year. The first 5 years of a child’s life are crucial. He/she needs to form a strong bond with Mom in order to be a healthy person later on in life. Those first 5 years are when Mom learns how to be a Mom and Junior learns he’s loved and protected, and also to mind his manners. You can never reclaim any of that time lost. Surely there are things this woman can do on base that would fulfill her service to our country.
If women want equal rights as men, then they are responsible for their actions. I feel sorry for the child for having an irresponsible mother.
Women say that wanted to be treated equal to men in the military but then they expect to get special treatment because they are women. That is silly, all single parents are required to have a back up plan while serving in the military, she should not have stayed in the military if she was going to be a single parent without at least two back up plan options.
I think she should go to jail because that is the risk everyone takes when they dont show up for their deployments had she been a man they would have thrown her in jail already but because she isnt she is recieving special treatment and people feel sorry for her.,,,which just makes me sick.
If women are not prepared to follow the rules just like the men then get out of the military and stay at home.
How would these “male” Officers feel if thier wives left them flat on thier butt with a few cryings kids just prior to deployment? Then again males do not have the empathy women have and are actually a little more whimpy. A male single parent would just ditch the kid. The military is based on the narrow minded mentality of 100 years ago, where only men served.
I am married and yes even with birth control accidents happen it’s life. I have my mom who loves right up the street and she’s my back up plan well guess what? She has a life too so sometimes my back up plan fails. Coming down on this soldier for having had this baby is pointless how and why she got pregnant while in the military is none of your business. The real topic here is that this soldier could very well lose her life for our country and that same country can’t help her with child care services that ARE NOT FOSTER PARENT SERVICES! Would you leave your children with complete strangers off the street?! No you wouldn’t I can guarantee that. How about giving her some time while she makes other arrangements. I mean for crying out loud, I don’t care how much this country needs their soldiers, YOUR CHILDREN COME FIRST ALWAYS!
I am a single mother. I dont have any help at all. So I wouldnt have joined the military. I think this girl just didnt want to go back, because if her mom took care of him for two years, she could have taken care of him for one more.
I think the story says her mom took care of her for two WEEKS, actually. sounds to me like she had a lot of bad luck, and was influenced greatly by the fear that showing up that day would end with her kid in foster care, which is scary for a mother.